Now you see me
The joy of clothing and everyone's style evolution
Hello, dear friends. It’s been a minute. While I was away I was dealing with bouts of high energy and more of low energy, trying to get myself back on track in terms of discipline and routine. I’m still working on that and hoping that I’ll have the mental strength soon to get my ducks in a row for they currently are completely and irrevocably all over the place, some are grazing, some are in a pond chilling and others just completely lost their way, left the woods and are headed to a different country all together. This is my current mental state, which is has left the monkey brain phase and moved to a confused duck phase.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately because I’ve been living alone for the summer so have naturally found myself alone with my thoughts on one too many occasions which has brought me down a rabbit hole. That rabbit hole has to do with my image, self-perception and how I ultimately express myself.
Somewhere along the way in my life I believe I’ve lost my voice. A lot of the work I’ve been putting into myself lately has been around getting that voice back. I think one of the reasons why being disciplined with La Boheme and putting it out on time probably has to do with this “voice”, my not feeling that what I say matters and is of no consequence, becoming my worst judge and driving myself into a creative and mental block.
What I usually resort to as a means to compensate the loss of voice is how I express myself outwardly through what I wear. Apparel. One of the many joys of life, in my opinion. I’ve often tried to think about why fashion and clothing and its various combinations gives me so much joy - I mean one of the reasons why I often feel happy scrolling through Instagram is that I get to gather different ideas and inspiration on style and it makes me almost giddy thinking about what similar pieces I have that I can put together. I often find myself planning outfits in my head, it’s like my brain turns into an on-demand styling board.
I think putting an outfit together is similar to putting a puzzle together, or creating a craft piece or a painting. You keep putting elements together, these elements can be put in all different combinations and each would make for a different vibe and different outcome. Sometimes you’ll put one extra piece and it’ll totally ruin the outfit. Sometimes you’ll put that extra piece and it’ll be a game changer. Sometimes the most unexpected piece can do the trick and sometimes you just want to be in your comfort zone and be predictable, which can in turn also be totally unpredictable.
There are really no rules when it comes to putting outfits together. It’s about your own persona and how you see the world and interpret it through clothing. And generally in life, I think we take our time to find this persona, this “mute voice” we get to express ourselves through. Throughout our childhood, it was mostly up to our parents or guardians to define this persona with some minimal interjection by us. Throughout our adolescence it was usually the trends that dictated this persona and wanting to fit in and “be cool”. It’s not until you’re mid-twenties when you start finding and being comfortable with your own style. Of course this age-breakdown varies with each person, it’s not a science at the end of the day, but more or less, this is how I see it.
So this brings me to the thought that I think one of the reasons why clothing means that much to me is that it, in a way, defines me. I might be still struggling with who Nolly is but I’m not really struggling with what Nolly’s style is. The irony is I still can’t totally define my style. It is mostly eclectic, sometimes more leaning on Boho-chic, sometimes I’ll totally go in the opposite direction and become quite preppy, other times I’ll reach back to my childhood years and get inspired by the 90s (like mostly everyone these days). But I’m totally fine with it maybe because I know it’s there. Although it’s not clearly defined but there’s always some kind of mark that would make people say “oh, that’s so Nolly.”
Thinking and writing this is now making me feel quite narcissistic and shallow because what does it matter if people see a piece of clothing and accessory and associate it with me? How inconsequential is this! Is this what I want to be remembered for? The answer to the question is partly yes, because I’d love to always be remembered for having great style ;D (I can’t help myself!), but there’s so much more that I want to be remembered and known for.
I was strolling through somewhere (can’t remember which social media platform) and stumbled upon this:
“Being humble means recognizing that we are not on earth to see how important we can become, but to see how much difference we can make in the lives of others.” — Gordon B. Hinckley
The quote made me stop and think. It made me question myself, my reason for seeking self-fulfillment. Is it to make myself feel better? To gain power? To gain money? To gain recognition? But what if instead I flip all of this around? What if instead of moving from a place where all I’m thinking about is what am I doing, what am I becoming, I focus on what can I offer the world and those around? How can this help and make someone’s life better/ easier/ more colorful?
I think how I’m presenting it can seem a bit reductionist and this topic is obviously quite dense and has so many layers, because it still is completely fine for someone to want to gain power and money and recognition and all of that jazz, as long as they aren’t corrupt, won’t harm people and will use this to do good.
So I’m not going to let things get too deep and will share these awesome posts and content that I’ve consumed and has made me happy/ comfortable/ intrigued throughout the last couple of months:
I’ve re-watched all 6 glorious seasons of Gossip Girl because for some reason I’m reliving my teenage, high-school girl era these days. It honestly isn’t as bad as I imagined I would perceive it as given I’m a non-teenager.
I got introduced to the concept of floriography watching The Lost Flowers of Alice Hart, which is a Prime show based on a book of the same name by Australian author Holly Ringland. It’s a great show albeit a bit intense because it tackles domestic abuse, but I highly recommend watching it.
How I see myself in a few years as a jet-setting cool aunt (you have to click on the post to see the reel on IG):
Something to keep you hopeful:
Everyone was talking about tomato girl aesthetic this summer, which is quite a mood:
There is a fall-winter contender to taking over this cool aesthetic status though, the English Gran winter
Dissecting the new “Wrong-Shoe Theory” and how it should actually be used as a concept to putting outfits together that are “unpredictable”.
That’s all for this time, folks. I hope I made a bit of sense and I hope you enjoyed the read.
Until next time, toodles. xoxo