Endless transit
On ways of escaping feeling down and why I love being on the journey more than reaching the destination
Hello, friends. I’ve missed using this space to connect with you and to connect with myself and inner thoughts. I apologize for disappearing since the new year started but I was lacking the mental energy to be fully present in this space. I’d often sit down to attempt to write a new edition and just experience a “blank”. I’d just feel like I have nothing to say or share and it was quite frustrating for some time.
The beginning of 2023 was a bit challenging for me. It put me in a quite uncomfortable place which I had no way out of but through. I was trying to deal with the situation by facing it at times and trying to escape from it most other times. I’m still figuring out whether I handled things well or not until now.
Throughout that time, I was constantly trying to think about what I can do to get out of the slump, regain some energy and pick myself up from feeling down. And that’s when I got to asking my Instagram community about what they do. The answers were mostly all about finding the things that bring joy and comfort to a person, with a couple of answers speaking of surrendering to the moment and have a nice, good old cry - which is honestly a great form of release if you ask me.
Here are what people answered in no particular order:
Listening to music/ a special playlist
Watching a “go-to” movie (plus points for sitting under a blanket and watching it)
Satisfying a food craving, particularly sushi or ice cream
Walks and runs
Heartfelt talks with friends
Talking to God
Good company, being around your besties and your family
Being around kids and playing with them
Hugs
Affirmations
Time off
Looking at the bigger picture
Swimming, especially in the sea
Dancing it out
Singing it out (fun fact: at the epitome of my stress in college, I once practically pulled an all-nighter just singing my heart out in my dorm room; no joke!)
Alone time
Coffee (to me, the smell of it alone energizes me, which is great because drinking coffee nowadays often gives me anxiety)
So I took a page out of y’all’s book, took time off and escaped to the seaside to spend some alone time and swim in the sea, with an added bonus of meeting new people. And I’ve got to say, it did work to a great extent. Now, to be honest, in this context, when I say swimming, I mean that I went into the sea and squatted in the water and flapped my hands a bit around because the water was too damn cold and I couldn’t really properly swim because my body was almost numb at some point.
When I was en route to Ras Sudr, where I went for my vacation, I realized something that I’ve known for a while but never really acknowledged or understood why I was feeling that. I love being en route. I love being in a car or bus or train or plane going somewhere. I think I enjoy this even more than I enjoy reaching the destination. Of course, I do enjoy the trips and seeing a new place etc. but the journey to that place is different. I’m not sure if it’s the fact that I’m sitting in my own bubble, listening to my favorite music, reading or watching something or if it’s the fact that I’m doing nothing yet something at the same time because I’m going from one place to another and there’s no other, faster way of doing so other than putting yourself in some kind of vehicle and allowing it to take you there in however amount of time it’ll require to take you there.
And of course, because I’m someone who LOVES metaphors and loves to find (sometimes make up) the hidden meaning or the double meaning for everything in life, I couldn’t help but draw a parallel to this on my entire being. How I love the journey. How I love and live in the flow, not really knowing my destination, but just (trying to) enjoy the journey (while trying to avoid spiraling into an identity crisis). I think there’s some kind of quote on the internet somewhere that says that “It’s all about the journey,” and it definitely is to a great extent because the journey is what adds to you in experience and wisdom. The outcome is great and gratifying for sure, but often times the journey makes it all the more sweeter and memorable. And worth it.
So I guess this reflection brought me to thinking that I need to just enjoy my journey more, instead of worrying about the bumps, checkpoints, delays, etc. Just put my favorite music on and enjoy the ride.
Or it made me realize that I try and always sound deeper than I actually am and in fact I’m just soothed by the movement of vehicles and enjoy doing nothing and having it be justified. I guess I’ll leave the judgement to you because I’m a Libra who can’t decide.
Cheers, my loves, and I’m going to do my best to be back soon. Until then xoxo